Weekly Psyche

I was having a conversation with some students at the university the other night and I decided to do a short experiment. I used a word that I made up and none of the students asked what the word meant; they merely nodded and made eye contact and acted as if they utilized the word in their speech. Now, why would they do that? Because, they did not want to appear ignorant. In other words, they didn’t want to appear powerless. They were without power. The human being needs for power.

As parents, we have to insure that we give it our kids, we give them power. and if we don’t, they’ll rebel. so If they’re rebelling, realize that you have not somehow engendered them with power. We constantly have to give them choices. “Which would you like to do Mike; your homework now or your homework later?” We also focus on very very minor behaviors, that are behaviors of success. “Hey Mike, excellent choice on the shirt, the color really matches the belt.” Notice how comment specific I was. You must be specific in order to engender power. You cant merely give a generic complement such as, good job, great day, you’re a loving kid, I love you. It must be specific.

We can do the same thing with our elderly parents. If we want to be sincere and we want to ensure that we allow them the necessary power that they need as a human being, so they don’t rebel and become grumpy or they act out sexually, we engender them with power. We have to allow them to complete as many steps, in any activity, as possible. We give them back the power. Sometimes we have to analyze the steps and do some of them, but we want them to do as many as they can, by themselves, and be independent.

Now, here is a simple technique to use, on how to please our boss, guest, maybe someone we’re dating or even our spouse. We make them feel powerful. This occurs on an unconscious level. Actually, the level is the collective tribal experience. It’s part of what we call ‘the human dance’ when people meet. How does it happen? I’ll tell you. When you shake hands, ensure that as the hand engages, their hand gradually swivels on top, as the shaking begins. They will feel the power and you will feel submissive. Such simple gestures create power and happiness in others and they will have an indelible feeling of goodness about you and they really won’t know why.

Now, the question is, why? Why does this ‘hand on the top’ have such meaning for the human being. Well, I’ll tell you. It goes back to human copulation. As the human being evolved, we were the only animals to evolve where copulation was mounted eye to eye. All others  are an instinctual back side penetration. This evolutionary step allowed for personal contact and developed bonding and developed into the tribal experience. And you know what, we still play the game. After all, whose on top and whose on the bottom? Well, this is Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.