Weekly Psyche

Our elderly parents and the concerns we have for our elderly parents, especially those living independently. We want to insure that they are constantly safe, yet we hear through the media the words Alzheimer’s and dementia. Dementia actually refers to a severe type of, well, a loss thinking ability, especially memory. A person with dementia may have trouble carrying out everyday tasks, and they loose a sense of what they’re normally familiar with, such as their neighborhood or the people they know or the pets they once had.

Dementia often happens in later years, especially in people that are 85 years or older. But what you have to distinguish between in terms of your worry, is that some memory loss is normal, as we age. Dementia is not. How do you distinguish that? Well, we worry about senility and getting old. Senility is somewhat normal. It means absent minded. That’s normal and it comes with age.  Maybe we just have to much memory to recall as opposed to when we were younger. Memory changes often remain mild and they really do not interfere with our functioning.

When forgetfulness actually becomes dysfunctional, I don’t mean when you go down to the market and you forget the twinkies. I mean dysfunctional when you can no longer care for life skills. That is somewhat the yardstick. Does it become dysfunctional where we can no longer deal with life skils: eating, dressing, hygiene.

There are ways to deal with forgetfulness. I was talking with a patient three weeks ago and they said “I cant remember what I am supposed to get at the store”. I said “why don’t you put a piece of butcher paper up on one of the doors and every time you think of what you need to get, write it down. That way you can empty your mind and free it for other things”. She said “what a wonderful idea, I spend most of my day worrying about what I need to get and whether I am going to forget it. What a perfect idea”.

She also said that in conversation “I sometimes forget what I was talking about or what they were talking about because I wanted to make an idea and I feel like a fool”. I said “why don’t you keep a flash card or just a very, very small notebook and when you’re in conversation and there is a remark you want to make, write it down so you can refer back to it”. She said “what a great idea.” We call those bullet points in lectures.

You should try that with your parents. Maybe we should try it ourselves. In regards to our elderly parents, this is Dr. B reminding you that, you are not alone.